


Constant Sorrow

by thebasement_archivist



Category: The X-Files
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2001-08-31
Updated: 2001-08-31
Packaged: 2018-11-20 14:47:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11337660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebasement_archivist/pseuds/thebasement_archivist
Summary: Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived atThe Basement, which moved to the AO3 to ensure the stories are always available and so that authors may have complete control of their own works. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address onThe Basement's collection profile.





	Constant Sorrow

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Basement](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Basement), which moved to the AO3 to ensure the stories are always available and so that authors may have complete control of their own works. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Basement's collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thebasement/profile).

 

Constant Sorrow by Speed

Title: Constant Sorrow  
Author: Speed -   
Rating: R, I guess for doom and gloom  
Category: Challenge Fic  
Pairing: M/Sk  
Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me, cept for the computer I wrote it on.  
Warning: Doom and gloom for the most part. Pass the hankies, cause I'm in one of my moods.  
Thanks to: Junior for the challenge and Miss Bertina and Mr. Chad for steering me in the right direction. Love you guys.

* * *

<<I am the man of constant sorrow  
I've seen trouble all my days.>>

Mulder buried his face in his hands, trying to push back the sob that wanted to rise in his throat. He couldn't believe he had fallen for Walter's smooth lines again. Opened his heart, mind and body to him, only to have his hopes and dreams crushed again. How many times did a man have to be burnt before he finally saw the light and quit opening himself up to this torment?

<<I bid farewell to old Kentucky  
The place where I was born and raised.>>

But no longer. It is time to put a stop to this endless hoping and dreaming. Nights of wrapping the blankets around his shoulders and pretending they were his lover's arms. Time to bid his whimsical dreams farewell and move on with his life. If only he could manage to free his mind of the burden he had been dealt.

<<For six long years, I've been in trouble  
No pleasure here on earth, I find>>

Could it really have been six years? Six long years of chasing after Walter? Each time thinking that they would finally be together. A few nights of passion. A few days of romance. And then he would be gone again, taking his heart with him. Weeks, sometimes months would pass with no contact, and yet Mulder was always grateful when Walter reappeared. The pain of living without him was too great a weight to bare.

<<For in this world, I'm bound to ramble  
I have no friends to help me now.>>

His life had certainly changed over the last six years. His friends, the people he had depended on most, had moved on. Not much fun being with someone who spends all his time pining away. Even Scully had given up on him. All her time belonged to the baby now and it had been weeks since he had even stopped to think of her.

<<It's fare thee well, my old true lover,  
I never expect to see you again>>

This last time had been the hardest. When Walter gathered his things, something in Mulder's tormented heart knew he wasn't coming back this time. There was no argument as Walter packed. Mulder watched his every move, trying to etch it into his memory to last him a lifetime. Mulder had sat until daybreak, watching the sun slowly rise as he made his decision.

<<For, I'm bound to ride that Northern railroad  
Perhaps I'll die upon that train.>>

Mulder's small bag was packed with nothing more than the bare necessities, his service revolver wrapped in an old tee shirt. The trip to the train station was a short one, thankfully. As Mulder boarded the train and took his seat, his tortured brain sought the only release he could find after these many years of trying to cope, trying to blank out the misery. He fervently hoped that he wouldn't chicken out at the last moment. He prayed that he would find the strength to at least get one thing right in his miserable life.

<<You can bury me in some deep valley,  
For many years, where I may lay.>>

Mulder sat as the train tracks roared past beneath him, plotting out his funeral, feeling intensely sorry for himself. He could almost feel the chill of the grave tugging upon his shoulders

<<Then, you may learn to love another  
While I am sleeping in my grave.>>

Mulder's eyes narrowed, thinking about Walter loving another. Over his dead body. Mulder shivered at the thought.

<<Maybe, your friends think I am a stranger>>

Aren't we all strangers? Does anyone ever really see into another's soul? 

<<My face, you never see no more.>>

Will you shed a tear when you realize I am gone?

<<But, there is one promise that is given>>

How can I even think of a future without him?

<<I'll meet you on God's golden shore.>>

Maybe we'll meet again someday on the other side.

~~~~~

Mulder looked up as an incredibly tall, incredibly blonde man moved down the aisle of the train heading directly towards him. "Mind if I sit here?"

Mulder straightened, edging his bag out of the way with his foot, his misery forgotten. "No, please do." He held out his right hand. "I'm Mulder. Fox Mulder."

The other man pumped Mulder's hand firmly in his own. "Chad Walker."

Mulder met the other man's eyes, feeling as if he was looking in the window to his soul, his heart lurching unexpectedly, his mouth going dry as he tried to come up with something witty to say.

"Nice day, huh?"

Chad made himself comfortable beside Mulder, gazing out the window for a moment before smiling into his eyes. "Yeah, it sure is. Where are you heading to?"

Mulder swallowed convulsively. "A new life."

  
Archived: July 04, 2001 


End file.
